There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
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