every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
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he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
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Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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