She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
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