That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
