She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
