i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
