I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
