It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
