But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Randomize
