And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
