Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
