She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Randomize
