The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
