..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
