what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize