I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
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