so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Randomize
