if you like me you must not know who I am
Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Randomize