i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize