Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
