no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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