oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
