He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
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