He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
please come you make the beer taste better
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Randomize
