I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
