Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
do nipples grow back?
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
