I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
