You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Randomize
