Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Randomize
