she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
