Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
