i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
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