Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
