if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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