This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Randomize
