I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
