it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
