you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
