i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Randomize
