we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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