I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
he was CRYING into my vagina
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
