I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
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