I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
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