I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
