I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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