Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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