Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
