I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
