if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize