Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
