It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
The feeling are messing with the penis
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
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