I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
