I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
