drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
