Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
