So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
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