she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Randomize
