The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
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