she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
