I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Randomize
