I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Randomize
