the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
