if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
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