I would go down on you faster than GM stock
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Randomize
