isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
just found out that she named her cat after me.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
