there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Some Animals Are Total Jerks (10+ pics)
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I made him laugh his dick is mine
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.