spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
These 27 C*ck Blocks Are Savage AF
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong