the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize
