thus making me awesome and them whores
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
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